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Good morning gang,

I hope you had a well-rested weekend.

Here’s a quick summary if you cba to read the whole thing:

Table of Contents

• General Updates

• Who's Hiring

• Headlines

• Insight Event

• Meme Flow

• Feedback

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General Updates

Short and sweet one this morning.

Not too many updates from my side as I have a lot of work to get on with + my never-ending to-do list is giving me anxiety!

Also, Toju had some stuff to get off his chest in the memes today
↳ I promise I was not involved!

Welcome to the 89 subscribers who joined us over the weekend!

Have a great week, and check out who’s hiring 👇

Who’s Hiring

Disclaimer: Before you apply, make sure your application is patterned. Dead CV & Cover Letters will get aired #sorrynotsorry

• Investment Compliance Intern, London (£28,000)

• Compliance Consulting Intern, London (£28,000)

• Development & Innovation Intern, London (£28,000)

• Talent Acquisition Intern, Manchester (£24,300)

• Energy Operations Intern, Manchester (£24,300)

• Frontend Engineer Intern, Manchester (£24,300)

• Sales & Install Support Intern, London (£27,000)

• Growth & Strategy Intern, London (£27,000)

• ESG & Sustainability Intern, London (£27,000)

• Asset Management Intern, London (£27,000)

PS: Scroll to the full length of the page to find the role you are interested in.

Headlines 🗞️

Here is what you missed last week:

→Durex sales are down; all skin, no protection!
→Only Fans is a platform for”adult content” not porn!
→Elon Musk is beefing Sam Altman, Open AI CEO
→Octopus Energy is hosting an insight event today
→Jeremy Hunt plans to be “responsible” with tax cuts

Slightly entertaining headlines this week.

Enjoy ⬇️

Job Market 💼

• UK’s largest energy provider hosting virtual insight events to showcase over 30 available internships across London & Manches (Beyond Education)…sounds legit

• Energy giant release over 30 internship opportunities open to all EVERYONE with UK agency (Beyond Education)

• Caffè Nero creates over 1,000 jobs as sales jump by £100m (City AM)…weekend job anyone? excel in the week 🤝 coffee on the weekends

• The full list of major US companies slashing staff this year (Business Insider)…a heads up for our 6% US audience

General Shenanigans 🚨

• Shares in Durex condom maker Reckitt Benckiser have flopped over 12 per cent (City AM)…everyone really just risking is all since the recession

• OnlyFans' CEO is tired of you calling it 'porn' (Business Insider)…fairs fairs fairs, it’s “adult content” guys

• Clearbank appoints former SVB Europe risk head as UK chief executive (City AM)…I just clocked that this headline is shade after what happened with SVB lol

• The super-rich are getting richer, again – and millennials are leading the way (City AM)…how do I apply to be a millennial and get access to such riches?

• Jeremy Hunt says 'I will only cut taxes in a responsible way' (BBC)…great another politician being responsible with public finances when we are in billions of debt🙄

• Ministers consider new vaping tax at Budget next week (BBC)…real talk lol

• FCA urges Brits to ‘make money work harder’ by shopping around for savings rates (City AM)…yupp that should solve the cost of living and recession lol

• Gen Z is confident in its ability to build up wealth — at least the rich ones are (Business Insider)…key words “at least the rich ones are”

Abit Techie 👾

• Elon Musk files lawsuit against OpenAI and Sam Altman (City AM)…bro always wants to be the villain at all cost

• Elon Musk, Sam Altman & Open AI + Chat GPT history (City AM)…basically the beef explained

• Elon Musk makes it known he hasn't been to therapy (Business Insider)…explain a lot I guess?

• British telco giant BT expects to launch 5G stand-alone — or ‘true’ 5G — later this year (CNBC)…wait a minute, so what have I been on lol

Investment Heads 📈

• Klarna posts fifth straight annual loss (City AM)…I guess people are really not trying to buy now or pay later

• Uber’s CEO has been offered stock worth more than $130 million after surpassing performance goals (Business Insider)

• Bitcoin tops $62,000 to close out its best month since 2020 (CNBC)…people still care about this ting?

• The markets for you investment heads.

Insight Event

Octopus Energy is back with their 2024 Summer Internship Programme and has double the number of opportunities from last year!

30+ internships across finance, tech, investments, and so much more!

These internships are open to:

→Gap-year students
→University Students
→Recent Graduates
→Career Changers

Literally everybody!

The first virtual insight event is happening on Tonight at 6pm

Covering:

→ Introduction to Octopus Energy
→ Overview of Internship programme
→ Day in the life of various departments hiring
→ Previous & live projects teams have worked on
→ Application & Interview Tips for the programme
→ Opportunity for Q&A

Only 12 spaces left, so sign up ASAP.
↳ See you tonight!

Candid Memes

Feedback

Till next time gang ✌🏾

PS: If you want me to know your name instead of calling you ‘gang’ - update this form, it’s not by force tho x